Photo: Szilveszter Makó

GGGOLDDD express the lonely aftermath of sexual assault on “Invisible”

Rotterdam alternative rock collective GGGOLDDD unambiguously court the darkest caverns of humanity on excellent records such as No Image, Optimist and Why Aren’t You Laughing?. However, on their upcoming LP This Shame Should Not Be Mine, out April 1st, their work focuses on a more personal form of strife. At age 19, vocalist Milena was the victim of rape, and during the pandemic, these traumatic memories surfaced upward, forcing her to acutely process and confront them.

After releasing the first single “Notes On How To Trust”, the follow-up “Invisible” highlights a different phase within this traumatic experience: the aftermath where one feels isolated and unseen keeping the pain and fear hidden from the outside world.

“I’ve struggled to say out loud that I was hurting,” Milena says of the song. “You can hear this vulnerability in the super intimate electronic parts. And you can hear the overwhelming effect of such trauma in the huge, bombastic choruses.”

“The assault happened to me years ago and I kept it a secret out of shame and guilt. Every time I met somebody new or if I felt insecure I got really paranoid. I was so scared people could tell from my face I wasn’t doing alright. I tried to keep it all together. Faking my way through everything. Now I know that this was really toxic for my mind and body. It literally made me sick. The shame and the fear really take their toll. I think we should all take a good look at ourselves. How can we make sure that the assault doesn’t happen anymore? But also how do we evolve into a world where people can live without shame?”

That harmful disconnect is also expressed in the striking video, as Milena is surrounded by depthless darkness. The track itself offers an impressive sonic leap in GGGOLDDD’s evolution, adding elements of power electronics and industrial to their ink-black alternative metal dirges. “I’ve been looking down / I’ve tried to keep it all a secret”, Milena sings, her voice trembling like an exposed nerve. On a song featuring sturdy distortion and battering ram-beats, “Invisible” is somehow at its most heavy when the music goes completely silent.

Watch the video below.

Preorder This Shame Should Not Be Mine and other merch at GGGOLDDD’s official website. The band will perform the album in full at Roadburn Festival (April 21 – 24) this year. GGGOLDDD have also curated a special side program that includes artists such as Backxwash, Divide And Dissolve, and Liturgy.

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