At 21 years old and with only a handful of released singles, LA-based artist Jordi Up Late is still growing and maturing, both as a person and artist. However, with her releases so far, she has already proven herself a mature personality and shrewd navigator of her erratic emotions – not to mention an excellent writer, singer, animator and more. Her latest, “IDRK” (“I don’t really know”), might be her most vulnerable and exposing song yet. She says:
“More than anything ‘IDRK’ is about being honest with myself. I’ve been in lust and I’ve maybe loved people from afar but I’ve never fallen in love, told them, and meant it. I’m coming to terms with the fact that sex, for me, can create the illusion of intimacy where lust and love become tangled and confused. In truth ‘I don’t really know’ what it is to fall deeply for someone on a mental and physical level. I’ve only experienced one or the other. Writing this song meant coming to terms with that and singing it keeps me self aware, reminding me what it is I’m ready and looking for.”
Where last year’s “Wasting Away” was a gliding indie jam, and this year’s “Back In LA” was an outspoken pop banger, “IDRK” shifts gears again, showing Jordi Up Late’s musical dexterity and her ability to tune her productions perfectly to her emotions. Tinkling piano scales combine with a more rugged synth sound, while Jordi’s overlapping vocals singing “I don’t really know”, all adding up to a vivid picture of her busy but confused mind. In the verses, she comes front and centre with her admissions, asking “when will I know how to give a fuck? / And when will it show it’s not just a fuck?” While there are no real answers to these questions, simply by being headstrong enough to ask them, and being able to admit “I have never been true to myself about my lovers and my mental health”, is putting her on the right track to a healthier, happier place. What’s more, by expressing them in such a classy, powerful song, she shows not only confidence and self-possession, but offers a branch to many other people feeling the same way, letting them know that this is an uncertainty that many feel.
You can find “IDRK” on streaming platforms, but we recommend the whimsical video, animated by Jordi herself, which you can watch below.