I hate festival previews. If you’re going to a big-name, multi-day music festival (in this case, Indio, Calif.’s Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival, April 16-18), you probably already know who you want to see and don’t need websites like this one to tell you that you like the wrong bands and, instead of seeing someone you actually like, you should spend that hour checking out the latest up-and-coming chillwave-noise-dubstep-whatever artist. But, alas, I’m going to the venerated Southern California festival and thus am supposed to write the Official One Thirty BPM Coachella Preview.
So I’m going to try to make it interesting, and take a page from users on the festival’s official message board. A while ago, the board held a contest to see who could dream up the coolest poster for a hypothetical Coachella lineup between 1969 and 1998. Some of the entries were awesome, others laughably bad, but the idea was a terrific one—try to apply GoldenVoice’s trends for booking bands, particularly headliners, to different eras of rock history. That’s what I’m going to do here: Imagine who would have played Coachella in a few key years, and figure out how that ties to this weekend’s lineup. (Note: I admit to looking at a bunch of the entries when the contest was going on, but that was two months ago, certainly before I decided to write this article. Any similarities to existing contest entries are purely coincidental.)
1969
Headliners: Jimi Hendrix, The Rolling Stones, The Grateful Dead
Of course, doing an outdoor three-day rock festival not named Woodstock in 1969 is pretty dubious, but the hippies would have loved Coachella’s friendly vibe and gorgeous Death Valley scenery. Hendrix would have played, because some of his most iconic performances were at festivals and I see no reason why he would turn down Coachella. The Dead are kind of a no-brainer too: Coachella likes to book bands that can bring in their own fanbases and turn their set into an event in and of itself. The closest thing in this year’s lineup is Sunday’s Gorillaz performance. Damon Albarn’s cartoon side project doesn’t necessarily have the name ID of a conventional major festival headliner, but they are arguably the most anticipated act of the year on the strength of reviews for their stellar new album Plastic Beach alone. 1969 would have had some absolutely brutal scheduling conflicts to make this year’s Grizzly Bear/Them Crooked Vultures decision look like nothing. Do you skip the Stones to go see the Doors headline the Outdoor Theater stage? Or do you go check out Marvin Gaye on the Motown stage (this is what they would have had instead of the Sahara dance tent in 1969)? The other major news of Coachella ’69, after months of will-they-or-won’t-they Beatles rumors, would have been would have been one of the first appearances by John Lennon and the Plastic Ono Band, much in the same vein as this year’s Outdoor Stage-headlining Sunday set by Thom Yorke’s Atoms for Peace. Radiohead is one of the most speculated-about Coachella bands year after year, and this is likely the closest we’ll ever get to seeing them in Indio again.
1973
Headliners: The Who, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd
I don’t think you could possibly put together a better set of three headliners at the absolute height of their powers than these three. You’d have Pink Floyd fresh off the release of Dark Side of the Moon, Led Zep on the same killer run of shows that spawned the powerhouse How the West Was Won, and the Who coming down from the Who’s Next and debuting some Quadrophenia material six months before that album’s release. Bob Dylan and The Band would have been a lock to headline a night on the Outdoor Theater, but I actually think that stage would have skewed heavily towards prog and metal, with sets from the peak incarnations of Jethro Tull, Yes, King Crimson, Deep Purple, and Black Sabbath. To top it off, look for Frank Sinatra making a rare festival appearance, fresh off his brief retirement and looking to reclaim the youth demographic. Coachella loves to book once-in-a-lifetime comeback acts, from Daft Punk’s legendary 2006 Sahara Tent set to Leonard Cohen’s stunning performance last year. This weekend, they do not disappoint in this department, with reclusive soul legend Sly Stone making an extremely rare appearance.
1978
Headliners: The Rolling Stones, Fleetwood Mac, The Bee Gees
1978 would have been one of the most controversial years in Coachella history. The Stones as a headliner are a no-brainer—the Some Girls songs would be brand-new, and they would be in the midst of a huge resurgence of popularity, making a headlining appearance at one of the most recognizable music festivals in America all but inevitable. The other two headliners are just a little bit more polarizing. Fleetwood Mac in 1978 were at the height of their Rumours megastardom, but would likely have faced backlash from the Coachella hardcore comparable to the criticism GoldenVoice received for booking Jack Johnson as a headliner in 2008. The Bee Gees would be the festival’s first-ever disco headliner, just as Jay-Z on Friday will play the first-ever headlining set by a hip-hop act. Genres were much more compartmentalized by fanbase in the pre-Internet age, so I predict Jigga’s set will by very well-received by the modern-day Coachella crowd. Look for Dr. Dre to make a rumored guest appearance to debut “Under Pressure,” the first single from his Axl Rose-length-anticipated Detox. Or just to sell $300 headphones.
1982
Headliners: The Who, Rush, The Police
Besides being at the peak of their post-Moving Pictures commercial success in 1982, Rush is the dictionary definition of a band that can get their own fans to buy tickets to an all-day festival, regardless of if they’re interested in anyone else on the bill. They are also in many ways equivalent to Muse, headlining Saturday of this year. Both bands are prog-leaning power trios with reputations for energetic live shows, and who have passionate supporters, equally passionate haters, and not a whole lot in between. Rush would also have served as a nice bridge in era between the Who, making a return stop as part of the first of many farewell tours, and the Police, representing the crop of new-wave acts that would dominate the lineup. I could easily imagine an undercard heavy on the likes of Blondie and Talking Heads. And this would probably be the first year the festival would have made an effort to book some early hip-hop acts—you could probably catch Grandmaster Flash spinning early in the day in the Sahara Tent.
1988
Headliners: U2, Aerosmith, Depeche Mode
U2 and Depeche Mode are both festival-friendly bands who would have been at the height of both their critical and commercial popularity in 1988, but the Aerosmith performance would have been arguably the most notable. It would have come directly in the middle of their late-‘80s comeback, and they would have almost certainly brought on Run-DMC to do the “Walk This Way” remix, constituting the first time a hip-hop act performed on one of the major stages at Coachella. It would have also given Aerosmith’s then-tourmates, Guns N’ Roses, the chance to play a legend-making day set. If they showed up, that is.
1992
Headliners: Guns N’ Roses, Metallica, Public Enemy
GNR would have been a prime candidate to make a Killers-like leap from day act to headliner, and the Guns/Metallica combo would be counterbalanced by the first-ever rap headliner, Public Enemy. Nirvana are scheduled to subhead for GNR, but Kurt Cobain pulls out at the last minute when he leans that the Melvins are booked at the Mojave Tent at the same time. And you thought Thom Yorke was pissed about headlining over the Pixies in 2004?
1994
Headliners: Neil Young/Pearl Jam/The Rolling Stones
The most tragic year in Coachella history. Following their last-minute bailing on the 1992 festival, Nirvana are poised to make a triumphant headlining run at this year’s edition. And two weeks before the festival is scheduled to take place, Cobain cuts these plans—and his life—tragically short. Neil Young (ironically, the author of the most famous quote in Kurt’s suicide note) volunteers to take his place, and is joined onstage by Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic for a mini-set of Nirvana covers, much in the same manner as Alex Chilton was honored by his former Big Star bandmates at last month’s South by Southwest festival.
Of course, it’s a major stretch to imagine Coachella existing in its present form in the 1970s, with its fine-tuned layout and scheduling distribution. But don’t try to act like you didn’t brainstorm your own retro-Coachella lineups while reading this. I’ve known for weeks who I’m going to see, and as a writer for an indie-leaning music site I’d probably be contractually obligated to tell you that Pavement should be treated like a gen-X Led Zeppelin reunion, but that wouldn’t do anybody any good. Enjoy the weekend, there’s plenty to do even without me telling you who to see.
