Some songs don’t come alive until you hear it in concert. John Cage’s piece “4’33″” is never the same when you hear it performed, but, at the same time it is always the same. That is because the no instrument is played during the song, no note is sung and, in fact, the performers just wait out the time, four minutes and thirty-three seconds. Live, the sounds around you become the song, and it is almost impossible to appreciate this with headphones on. So while a recording of this song is kind of ridiculous, a cover version of this song to be sold as a charity single is downright absurd. But maybe that is perfectly in the spirit of the original.
According to Pitchfork, a number of artists are joining together to perform a cover version of “4’33″” and aim for it to be crowned the Christmas Number One in the UK, which apparently is a big deal. To understand anything about this story, first an understand of the charts history is in order.
The UK singles chart measures the top selling single for a week’s time, and thus the top Christmas single would be the best-selling singles for the week ending before the holiday. It’s importance is obvious: people shop more during Christmas and having the number one single at this time bodes well for the amount of stockings that are filled with your song. By now, the importance is more traditional, with a number of factors leading to less importance being placed on the winner. But still, it is prestigious.
Here is a list of the complete Christmas number 1’s:
- 1952 Al Martino “Here in My Heart”
- 1953 Frankie Laine “Answer Me”
- 1954 Winifred Atwell “Let’s Have Another Party”
- 1955 Dickie Valentine “Christmas Alphabet”
- 1956 Johnnie Ray “Just Walkin’ in the Rain”
- 1957 Harry Belafonte “Mary’s Boy Child”
- 1958 Conway Twitty “It’s Only Make Believe”
- 1959 Emile Ford & The Checkmates “What Do You Want to Make Those Eyes at Me For?”
- 1960 Cliff Richard & The Shadows “I Love You”
- 1961 Danny Williams “Moon River”
- 1962 Elvis Presley “Return to Sender”
- 1963 The Beatles “I Want to Hold Your Hand”
- 1964 The Beatles “I Feel Fine”
- 1965 The Beatles “Day Tripper” / “We Can Work It Out”
- 1966 Tom Jones “Green, Green Grass of Home”
- 1967 The Beatles “Hello, Goodbye”
- 1968 The Scaffold “Lily the Pink”
- 1969 Rolf Harris “Two Little Boys”
- 1970 Dave Edmunds “I Hear You Knocking”
- 1971 Benny Hill “Ernie (The Fastest Milkman in the West)”
- 1972 Jimmy Osmond “Long Haired Lover From Liverpool”
- 1973 Slade “Merry Xmas Everybody”
- 1974 Mud “Lonely This Christmas”
- 1975 Queen “Bohemian Rhapsody”
- 1976 Johnny Mathis “When A Child Is Born (Soleado)”
- 1977 Wings “Mull of Kintyre”
- 1978 Boney M “Mary’s Boy Child” / “Oh My Lord”
- 1979 Pink Floyd “Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)”
- 1980 St Winifred’s School Choir “There’s No-one Quite Like Grandma”
- 1981 The Human League “Don’t You Want Me”
- 1982 Renée and Renato “Save Your Love”
- 1983 The Flying Pickets “Only You”
- 1984 Band Aid “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
- 1985 Shakin’ Stevens “Merry Christmas Everyone”
- 1986 Jackie Wilson “Reet Petite”
- 1987 Pet Shop Boys “Always on My Mind”
- 1988 Cliff Richard “Mistletoe and Wine”
- 1989 Band Aid II “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
- 1990 Cliff Richard “Saviour’s Day”
- 1991 Queen “Bohemian Rhapsody” / “These Are the Days of Our Lives”
- 1992 Whitney Houston “I Will Always Love You”
- 1993 Mr Blobby “Mr Blobby”
- 1994 East 17 “Stay Another Day”
- 1995 Michael Jackson “Earth Song”
- 1996 Spice Girls “2 Become 1”
- 1997 Spice Girls “Too Much”
- 1998 Spice Girls “Goodbye”
- 1999 Westlife “I Have A Dream” / “Seasons in the Sun”
- 2000 Bob The Builder “Can We Fix It?”
- 2001 Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman “Somethin’ Stupid”
- 2002 Girls Aloud “Sound of the Underground”
- 2003 Michael Andrews & Gary Jules “Mad World”
- 2004 Band Aid 20 “Do They Know It’s Christmas?”
- 2005 Shayne Ward “That’s My Goal”
- 2006 Leona Lewis “A Moment Like This”
- 2007 Leon Jackson “When You Believe”
- 2008 Alexandra Burke “Hallelujah”
- 2009 Rage Against the Machine “Killing in the Name”
Not exactly a respectable list. Besides last year, you have to go back to 1995’s winner Michael Jackson to find an artist who was both a commercial and critical success. Robbie Williams and the Spice Girls are semi-bright spots, but you have to back to the 70’s to get real classics with any consistency. Apparently the recent #1’s are also winners of the UK’s American Idol precursor X Factor.
Then in 2009, a Facebook campaign led to Rage Against The Machine winning the honors, despite the song being 18 years old and generally reviled by people over 45. But was a message sent? Did the British people realize their music was being forced down their throats by executives a dn marketing agents? Doubtful, so the message this year is if we are going to consider Bob The Builder’s “Can I Fix It?” to be music, well we might as well be listening to eachother squirm in discomfort.
So a group of artists are going to record this charity single (as you can see from the three-peat of “Don’t They Know It’s Christmas”, the UK likes charity singles). The artists include:
- Anti-Establishment folkie Billy Bragg
- Anti-Drug law rocker Pete Doherty
- Anti-Becoming household names groups The Big Pink, UNCLE, The Kooks, Orbital and more
- Anti-Knowing when a concept has gone too far artists Hot Chip, Herve and others will also provide remixes of the single.
The group’s name? Cage Against The Machine. Get it?
Maybe the rebellion is misdirected, though. examine the number two singles at Christmas time since 1952 and then wonder if it is the consumer tradtition that should be protested, or the fact that people who pay for music have the worst taste in music possible. I mean, especially the recent ones, if you are not smart enough to figure out how to get the music you want for free, maybe you shouldn’t count in the polling figures.
- 1952 – You Belong to Me – Jo Stafford*
- 1953 – Answer Me – David Whitfield*
- 1954 – Santo Natale – David Whitfield
- 1955 – Rock Around The Clock – Bill Haley & His Comets*
- 1956 – The Green Door – Frankie Vaughan
- 1957 – Ma He’s Making Eyes at Me – Johnny Otis And His Orchestra With Marie Adams
- 1958 – Hoots Mon – Lord Rockingham’s XI*
- 1959 – What Do You Want? – Adam Faith*
- 1960 – It’s Now or Never – Elvis Presley*
- 1961 – Tower of Strength – Frankie Vaughan*
- 1962 – The Next Time/Bachelor Boy – Cliff Richard*
- 1963 – She Loves You – The Beatles*
- 1964 – Downtown – Petula Clark
- 1965 – Wind Me Up (Let Me Go) – Cliff Richard
- 1966 – Sunshine Superman – Donovan
- 1967 – Magical Mystery Tour (EP) – The Beatles
- 1968 – Build Me Up Buttercup – The Foundations
- 1969 – Ruby Don’t Take Your Love To Town – Kenny Rogers And The First Edition
- 1970 – When I’m Dead and Gone – McGuinness Flint
- 1971 – Jeepster – T.Rex
- 1972 – My Ding-a-ling – Chuck Berry*
- 1973 – I Love You Love Me Love – Gary Glitter*
- 1974 – You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet – Bachman-Turner Overdrive
- 1975 – I Believe in Father Christmas – Greg Lake
- 1976 – Under the Moon of Love – Showaddywaddy*
- 1977 – The Floral Dance – Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band
- 1978 – Y.M.C.A. – The Village People*
- 1979 – I Have a Dream – ABBA
- 1980 – (Just Like) Starting Over – John Lennon*
- 1981 – Daddy’s Home – Cliff Richard
- 1982 – Blue Christmas (EP) – Shakin’ Stevens
- 1983 – My Oh My – Slade
- 1984 – Last Christmas – Wham!
- 1985 – Saving All My Love for You – Whitney Houston*
- 1986 – Caravan of Love – The Housemartins*
- 1987 – Fairytale of New York – The Pogues
- 1988 – Especially for You – Jason Donovan and Kylie Minogue*
- 1989 – Let’s Party – Jive Bunny*
- 1990 – Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice*
- 1991 – When You Tell Me That You Love Me – Diana Ross
- 1992 – Heal the World – Michael Jackson
- 1993 – Babe – Take That*
- 1994 – All I Want For Christmas Is You – Mariah Carey
- 1995 – Wonderwall – Mike Flowers Pops
- 1996 – Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door – Dunblane*
- 1997 – Teletubbies say “Eh-oh!” – Teletubbies*
- 1998 – Chocolate Salty Balls – Chef*
- 1999 – The Millennium Prayer – Cliff Richard*
- 2000 – What Makes a Man – Westlife
- 2001 – How Wonderful You Are – Gordon Haskell
- 2002 – Sacred Trust – One True Voice
- 2003 – Christmas Time (Don’t Let the Bells End) – The Darkness
- 2004 – Father and Son – Ronan Keating featuring Yusuf Islam
- 2005 – JCB Song – Nizlopi*
- 2006 – Patience – Take That*
- 2007 – What a Wonderful World – Katie Melua and Eva Cassidy*
- 2008 – Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley
- 2009 – The Climb – Joe McElderry*
Not as bad, but not much better. For every Jeff Buckley, you have the Teletubbies. But why the Cage song without actual music. Well, it forces the audience to consider their definition of music. But opponents of the sentiment could argue that the composition only prooves that any song is better than no song, with the discomfort of not knowing what is happening during a 4’33” performance is worse than listening to Wham!
Or maybe the joke is on the consumers, who are so swept up in the idea of winning and being a part of something that they will go out and buy a cd with no music on it. Wouldn’t the best staterment just be listening to better music, and have Kanye West or Arcade Fire be the number one song? I guess this will all be mute if it doesn’t win, so we’ll see what happens then. Maybe the story here is Pete Doherty shutting up for nearly 5 minutes.
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